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a-small-glimpse-of-hope: kylesquips: kylesquips: kylesquips: awliver: kylesquips: That dril...

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a-small-glimpse-of-hope:

kylesquips:

kylesquips:

kylesquips:

awliver:

kylesquips:

That dril tweet thats like “I sucked my own dick and got poisoned” is really funny to me because thats a thing that actually happened to me lmao

what happened kyle

I typed out a whole long thing but im scared that this information is too much for anyone to handle

I will tell all of you the story after I take a nap cause I gotta be somewhere soon and havent slept yet

Alright fuck it . So Id say basically anyone with a dick has tried to suck their own dick at least once in their life. Some time ago I found out that I was one of the few people on this planet that actually can. So one night a long time ago I was cranking my hog, and I was using this vaseline brand lotion and eventually I got bored of that and decided I wanted to up the ante and suck my own dick. So after wiping off some of the excess lotion on my hands, I put my dick in my mouth and realize that it tastes a little weird, probably from some of the lotion on my dick but I didnt really pay it any mind because it didnt taste bad really and I figured that since most of the lotion already got absorbed into my dick skin that I probably was gonna be fine. Oh how wrong I was. Not too long after I finish, I get very hot, my vision goes blurry and my heart rate shoots through the god damn roof. Everything in my body just felt very very wrong. So In the middle of the night, I told my mom I was sick (omitting the fact that it was from accidentally eating lotion that I had sucked off my own dick) and she for some reason focused on my heart rate being fucked up and very rapid. I ended up seeing a heart specialist who made me wear a heart monitor for a month so they could monitor any irregularities and all the while I just knew that it was from the fucking lotion I ate and I just could never ever tell anyone, not the fucking doctor and especially not my mom what really happened. That I got poisoned from sucking my own dick

@pen-jouster


grimelords: me watching new yorkers through my binoculars: oh my god they’re walking here

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grimelords:

me watching new yorkers through my binoculars: oh my god they’re walking here

xjessr: ATTENTION ALL GIRLS: Being a ride or die means staying by a man’s side whether he has $500...

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xjessr:

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS: Being a ride or die means staying by a man’s side whether he has $500 or $5. Not when he cheats 10 times and you stay.

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muvatokyo: jazminbunninsfw: constant-continuum: drakewinzz: do...

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muvatokyo:

jazminbunninsfw:

constant-continuum:

drakewinzz:

dolliecrave:

Pass this on Tumblr

This is actually pretty important

very important information

This needs to be seen more. Rape needs to flat out stop, but until then victims need to know there’s support for them.

I should’ve done this . Nobody told me this was an option . Fuck …

team taka sasuke travels into the future and sees mamasaku & their daughter?

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the kid is cute enough. she calls him ‘big brother’ and makes him have tea parties with her and begs him to teach her new techniques. she asks if she can have a sword like his and her mother say no. for the most part, sasuke is a glorified babysitter right now. he’s not allowed to leave the village and he’s not really even allowed to leave the uchiha house. so to give him something to do, sakura asks him to watch her daughter.

no, sasuke corrects, their daughter. 

or, technically, her daughter with an older version of himself. the version, he understands, they’re currently waiting on to return to the village to have him send sasuke back to his own timeline.

Keep reading

eijirou-kun: You never think it happens to you until it does. You never think that you’d be the one...

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eijirou-kun:

You never think it happens to you until it does. You never think that you’d be the one that people reblog tips for.


I wash just closely followed and taped by a man at a convention today. The only reason I’m here to talk about it is because of said reblogged tips. They might have just saved me.


When I saw that man behind me, I did a run-through of everything I knew to keep me safe. Everything I saw on this website that would help me. First, I made sure I was being followed. I picked up my pace, went around tables sporadically, mixed up my directions. I never stopped moving. When I saw he was still the same distance behind me, I knew.


Second, I looked for my friends. I had come with three other people and had split up to look at merch. But when I couldn’t find them, I did what I never thought I’d have to do. I thank all of the people I followed for reblogging it so many times.


I picked a random cosplayer my age (a Midoriya cosplayer of 15-16 years) and pretended that I just met a long lost friend. I leaned in close to give them a hug and then whispered that I was being followed. They understood IMMEDIATELY and let me follow them to a different booth. It wasn’t until I grouped with them that the man stopped following me. I later went to security and the man was already someone who they were having trouble with earlier.


Moral of the story: Please reblog tips for safety on your dash. I don’t care if it doesn’t fit. If I didn’t think of pretending I knew someone, something worse could’ve happened to me. If you’re being followed, don’t be afraid to pretend you know someone. Be careful out there. You never think it’s going to be you until it happens.

The “I probably shouldn’t have clowns” Starter Pack

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shrineart:

lonelymountainson:

severalowls:

severalowls:

Clowns are creatures that need to clown. They were not meant to be domesticated and profited from as pets. They are highly active creatures that will self harm from stress in such confined spaces. Circus Clowns are delightful to keep in groups, though they are fine on their own, but every 1 clown adds 30 square feet to the space needed. They need multiple props and performance areas in order to replicate their natural environment. These are examples of proper Circus Clown or other basic clown enclosures.

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Candee Fluff is a horrible brand of cotton candy, I used to feed it to my clowns and they would just throw it back up. The sugar is all unprocessed, when clowns need highly refined white sugar, just because it’s cheaper. Which is something they don’t list on the packaging to fool clown owners. Ideally you should only feed your clown freshly whipped cotton candy. Large mixers may be expensive but a simple childrens make-your-own candy floss machine will suffice if your budget is tight.

Clowns shouldn’t be confined to a car. (Especially a childrens car..?) Clowns are curious creatures that need to jump, tumble, honk and play to be healthy. Keeping them locked in a car 24/7 as a toy for your kids will stress them out in much the same way as a hamster in a ball. Clowns do enjoy having access to a clown car, especially in groups, but their car should provide 1 square foot per clown and their enjoyment comes primarily from exiting the vehicle in large numbers. Keeping them locked inside can reduce their lifespan by up to 10 years. A small human-sized compact car may be suitable for larger groups of clowns.

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I’m cringing at that rainbow collection of “my mommy got me a cute clown” balloon sticks. These are creatures that need to run around with helium balloons.They need to bounce and float away when released.Air-filled balloons on sticks are not a suitable replacement.This is the proper set up for a clown or more modern jesters.

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Clownsget stressed from any foot confinement under size 16. Clown shoes are the worst item for being sold to kids as “accessories” in human foot sizes. When kept like that the clown will die a horribly stressed life within a year when they can live for 60 or more. They need colourful shoes or boots with plenty of toe-space and loud squeakers. Clowns are so intelligent that they actually play with you, and they need podiatric stimulation to live healthy. These are proper clown shoes.

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Never change the natural markings of a clown. This should go without saying, but I see people buying halloween store ‘clown makeup’ and attempting to alter their clown’s faces. Clowns use their facial markings to identify one another, and altering it may cause stress, and even endager the clown if you keep several in the same tent.

Who the fuck would even feed an omnivorous clown pellet food…? Do they want a sick clown? If clown stores even bothered to care about the keeping of clowns, they would know that shit is bad for them. If you can’t feed fresh peanuts and hot dogs then you shouldn’t own a clown in the first place. Pellet food isn’t even real food, it’s chemically made with preservatives.

Bear in mind that this does not apply to mimes, which require confined spaces to thrive and breed; ideally, these should be transparent, but if you can’t spring for an appropriately sized invisible box, a standard refrigerator box should do.

Also please don’t just “adopt” harlequins from the outside. A harlequin is not a clown. It has not been domesticated!!! Just because a harlequin tumbles about and will eat the food you give it doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea. It’s cute and all at first until they start showing up ominously on street corners or sewer drains. When they’re continuously used to human contact it leads to tragedy for human and harlequin alike.

If you like harlequins, Jesters are a good breed to look into. All of the charm of a harlequin with the domestication of a clown. Just make sure to get them from an accredited breeder. Clown mills are not pretty places.


uzucake:Kurama doodles

jennwolfesparreaux: Uzumaki Kushina Please do not repost.

uzucake:Today’s practice…

koroseru:「ナルトとクラマ」

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hogeky: Comfy… for @cherrycreamsodas​ merry Christmas...

artofjellophish: Mostly another practice for profile view - also...


kirakurapon:dammit sakura ///

sunsnek:*Alternating bleps *

sunsnek:Apollo, August 2015 (94 grams) vs January 2017 (1,427...

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sunsnek:

Apollo, August 2015 (94 grams) vs January 2017 (1,427 grams)

sunsnek:He peep 👀

younggenji:i needed a new twitter header for the coming season...

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younggenji:

i needed a new twitter header for the coming season 🎃💜

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